BANNED FROM WAL-MART...
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most
women - she loved to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local
Wal-Mart:
Dear Mrs. -,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in
our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both
of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. - are listed below
and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's
restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from
the bedding department.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and
screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked
the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming
the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna=2 0look'
by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through
yelled, 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed
a fetal position and screamed, 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least...
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
Sincerely,
Wal-Mart
10 comments:
That is so rippin funny!!!!! I love it....ans you new blog design too!!! Hope that running is coming along well! I see your running log on the sidebar!!!!
Oh...that's a good one. Don't you just wish you could do some of those?
This is so funny! I've read a bunch of times but i still crack up! i would like to do some of those just to see what would happen.
Pam
That is huh-larious! I have never seen that one before. I can't wait to show my husband. He hates Wal-Mart and would love to do some of those things...on second thought, maybe I shouldn't show it to him.
That is too funny! My husband would do all of those things, honestly he's done a few! You juts never know what will happen while at Wal-Mart!
Hey...I posted this a while back! I have a great pic to go with it! Have a great weekend!
This had me rolling. I may use this sometime.
LOL! Thanks for sharing!
This is to funny! Thanks for sharing!
that is too funny!
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